This topic deserves a longer look than I’ve given it and perhaps one day it will. I don’t have enough time and energy right now to do it justice, but I wanted to get it down while this particular incident was fresh in my mind.

My son is a feminist. His wife said so and having had the chance to observe him closely for the past ten years would have made her an expert on the subject. M doesn’t talk the talk or lobby for the sisterhood but he walks the walk every single day. He treats his wife with love and women with respect. When B wanted to change career paths and study, M changed his work schedule to care for their children. It’s been a while since she was a student so she had doubts. M convinced her that she could do it; that he had faith in her. M cooks and cleans when B can’t and she takes turns when he is busy. I never seem to stop marvelling at it, but it’s true that in every sense of the word, my son and his wife are partners.

M sounds like a paragon of virtue doesn’t he? He’s not. Being human like the rest of us, M has his faults (just as B has hers). I’m not dwelling on them here. I’m only mentioning it because M recently lost his cool with a female friend. She was critical of her husband’s ability to find something, He had given it a ‘Man look’ she said. It was obvious to M that she was not only stereotyping all men, but doing it in his presence and in his home. M called her out on it, politely but firmly.

Having heard worse from work colleagues and female friends, he wasn’t sure what had come over him or why he had decided that now was the time to take some sort of stand.  M sees disrespect towards his sex daily, whether it’s in television advertisements, or from female commentators or worse still from male apologists. Women are fiercely protective of their rights as they should be, but it seems to M that men are fair game and expected to take criticism lying down.

M has sons now. It makes things difficult. He has decided that he can no longer ignore what seems to have become the norm in our society, at least not in his own life. His little boys use their parents as role models, which means that they will get a solid grounding that will hopefully serve them for life, but how are they going to cope once they are out in the wider world?. After much thinking and consultation M has decided that he’s not a feminist, just the best human being he can be. That’s how he was raised and that’s all that can be expected of him when he raises his own children.

7 thoughts on “My son is (not) a feminist

  1. He sounds like a terrific person! Great job raising him. It is very nice to see a couple work together because that is what a marriage should be. 🙂 I am lucky to have that with my spouse. 🙂 Great blog. 🙂

    • I’m sure that being a mum you also know that the most important thing for a mother is to not only love but to like her children. 🙂 🙂

  2. Nice. I like this post. I don’t blame M for being tired of men getting the short end of things. I see it, too, even though I know women are much smarter. 😉

  3. Interesting food for thought here. Being the mum of two boys I get very sick of some of the anti-boy rhetoric and generalisations that get thrown around. For example, ‘boys are rough’, ‘they don’t like reading’, blah blah blah. I am trying to raise my lads to see that we are all just human beings, gender aside. However, I have accused my own husband and boys of using their ‘man eyes’ as that has been my personal experience of living with people who don’t look for anything properly. It may have nothing to do with them being male, but just as I, as a woman, get sick of the ‘you must love shopping comments’ (even though I do), I will think twice about using that phrase again!

    • Food for thought? Couldn’t help it, could you Cheery? 🙂 Thanks for the great comment. I’m waiting for a bit of outrage and thankfully it hasn’t arrived yet.

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